Is a Doula Worth It? What I Wish I Knew Before My First Birth

Feb 9

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I thought I had everything figured out. I had done all the research, read every book I could find, and listened to countless birth stories. I felt confident that I was prepared for labor and delivery.

But looking back, there’s one big thing I regret: I didn’t hire a doula.

At the time, I wasn’t sure if a doula was worth the investment. I thought I had learned enough on my own, and I assumed my birth team would guide me through any decisions. But when labor actually started, I quickly realized how much I didn’t know—and how valuable a doula’s support would have been.

Now, after experiencing birth with a doula, I can confidently say that their support makes all the difference. If you’re wondering, “Is a doula really necessary?” or “Do I actually need one?”—this post is for you.

Here’s what I wish I had known before my first birth and why I believe every expecting mom should consider hiring a doula.

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

One of the biggest lessons I learned between my first and second birth is that you don’t know what you don’t know. No amount of books, research, or internet deep dives can fully prepare you for the real-time decisions and unexpected turns labor can take.

I thought I had done everything right to prepare for my first birth. But in the moment, I found myself feeling uncertain about options I hadn’t even realized existed. I didn’t know what questions to ask or how to advocate for my preferences effectively.

Doulas bring awareness to options and choices that many families aren’t even aware of. They educate you about different comfort measures, interventions, and alternatives so that when the time comes, you can make truly informed decisions. With my second birth, my doula helped me navigate my choices with confidence, making a huge difference in how I experienced labor and birth.

A Doula Helps You Navigate Birth Decisions with Confidence

Despite all the preparation I did before my first birth, I found myself overwhelmed by some of the medical interventions and decisions that were presented to me. In the moment, I struggled to process the options and make fully informed choices.

By the time I was pregnant with my second baby, I knew I wanted extra support. I hired Kahla as my doula, and my chiropractor, Paige, also played a huge role in keeping my body aligned and comfortable throughout pregnancy. That decision made all the difference.

Throughout my labor, Kahla helped me understand what was happening in my body and guided me through making decisions that aligned with my birth plan. I didn’t feel rushed or pressured—I felt empowered and in control.

A doula provides that missing link between your medical providers and your personal birth knowledge. They ensure that you fully understand your options and help you make decisions that align with your preferences. They don’t make choices for you, but they make sure you have all the information you need to make the right choices for yourself and your baby.

Emotional Support That Goes Beyond Your Partner

The first time I gave birth, my husband was right by my side, doing everything he could to support me. But labor is unpredictable, and despite all our preparation, we both felt lost at times.

I remember standing for most of my labor simply because we couldn’t figure out another position that felt restful and comfortable. We didn’t know what to try, how to ease the pain, or how to help labor progress more smoothly.

During my second birth, having a doula by my side made an incredible difference. Kahla knew exactly what positions to suggest, how to relieve pressure, and when to switch things up to keep labor moving. Her hip squeezes were lifesaving, and the reassurance she provided helped me stay calm and focused.

A doula doesn’t replace your partner but instead complements their support. They bring experience, expertise, and a calm, reassuring presence to the birth space. Your partner may want to help, but a doula knows exactly what to do.

The Power of Advocacy

During my first birth, I didn’t fully grasp the importance of having someone advocate for me in the moment. My birth team was wonderful, but there were interventions that, had I known better, I might have declined or approached differently.

With my second birth, my doula played a crucial role in advocacy. She helped me stick to my birth preferences while ensuring I remained flexible and informed. If a decision needed to be made, she made sure I fully understood my options before moving forward.

A doula isn’t there to speak for you, but they help make sure your voice is heard. They encourage you to ask questions, remind you of your preferences, and support you in making decisions that align with your goals.

You Can’t Replace a Doula with Books or Google

As much as I believed I was prepared with all my research, nothing compares to the real-time, hands-on support of a doula. Birth is unpredictable, and having someone there who understands the process, knows comfort techniques, and can offer emotional reassurance is invaluable.

A doula doesn’t just provide information—they offer presence. They remind you that you are capable, strong, and not alone in this journey. They help turn labor from something you simply endure into something you can embrace with confidence.

Should You Hire a Doula for Your Birth?

If you’re expecting, I can’t encourage you enough to consider bringing a doula into your birth experience. Their support could make all the difference in how you feel during labor and how you look back on your birth story.

A doula:

• Helps you make informed decisions about your birth

• Provides hands-on comfort measures and pain relief techniques

• Supports your partner so they feel confident in their role

• Advocates for your preferences and ensures your voice is heard

• Creates a calm, reassuring birth space

I went into my first birth thinking I was prepared, but I didn’t know what I didn’t know. When I hired a doula for my second birth, I realized just how valuable that support could be. If you want to feel more confident, supported, and empowered during your birth, hiring a doula might be one of the best decisions you make.

Looking for In-Person Doula Support in Jacksonville?

At Beloved Birth & Beyond Collective, we offer personalized doula services to help you prepare for an empowered, faith-centered birth. Whether it’s your first baby or your fifth, we’d love to walk this journey with you. Fill out our Request for Consultation Form today!

Natalie Portman